Stephanie

i like that song.
scratch that LOVE it.

what does that have to do with anything though.
its been a good oh, i don't know, five months.
sheesh.

anyway, 
as of yesterday, i'm just bleh.
why?

oh, lets see..
while everyone is getting 5's on their AP calc test,
guess what i got.
a 3, i'm qualified.
but, its qualified as in i flushed $86 down the toilet to take calc ALL over in college.
awesome.

oh and another thing.
why is it that everyone is always better than me?
like me and my best friend.
people always pair us together.
we're so similar.
except i don't freak out easily. hah.

yet, people choose her over me.
i don't know.
i'm just so...average.
that's it.
its complicated.

the only person who doesn't think she's better...
is her.
ohh and when i tell her about it
she'll just be like ohh, this isn't going to end well.
why? cause i'm right?

bleh. 
i quit.

actually, i wish.

anyway 18 in three days.
go me?

thats right.
i haven't written in a couple days.
not much has changed though.

i applied to lcc.
i know i'm gonna feel like a failure there.
but i don't know.
i wish i could straighten things out.

like everything.
this stupid roller coaster.

its sunny.
its amazing.
i'm in a good mood.
and the best part is.
not everything is going well.
yet here i am.
in a good mood.
gah. sun. :]
i can't wait till spring break/summer
no school. whatev.


as for the old situations.
i guess nothing will go back to the wait it used to be.
even if it did for some reason.
it'd end up being the same stupid way.
i wish things wouldn't be so complicated.
BUT! i'm still happy.

but still. its sad.
he makes me feel like there's something wrong with me.
but there isn't.
how did i let him decide how i feel about myself.
stupid boy.

why did god make boys so cute?
hah. silly.

i just need to survive one more day. :]


we played spoons today.
it was amazing.

so i'm going to florida, kentucky, and dc for spring break
heck yes! :]

i just need to survive 1.5 days.
since when is school all about surviving.
geeez.
i hate that.

today was fun.
i have sweet friends.
arizona tea is good.
:]

i had a good day.
:]
school was kinda fun.
except calc. but i survived.
i hate when people correct me.
it makes me feel retarded.

but other than that. yes fun.
:]
i talk to sweeto people at school. hah.

i hate calculus.
and everything math related.
its pointless.
when will i need to find an equation of someone's running speed in real life?
yeahh like i'm gonna calculate the rate something moves.
i have a headache.
i really shouldn't have waited this long to do my homework either.
but i needed yesterday.
stupiddddddd.
i want school to be over with like right....now.

woo.
roller coaster.
gah.

its friday.
finally. :]



ohh and its whatev. i guess.

i gave blood today. :]
i'm still alive.

it hurt though.
but they gave me pizza. :D







I HAVE NO IDEA.
GAH.

i like roller coasters.
i really do.
just not this kind.
but i should be used to it.
but i don't know what happened.
hopefully i'll survive school today.
mainly calculus.
wish me luck.

today was much better.
just one more thing will make it even better. :]

i have the worst OCD ever.
gah. its gonna kill me until tomorrow.
fkasjodfijsaoidjfasiodjfs.


on a lighter note.
i couldn't be any happier. :]

just my OCD.
and calc.
boy do i not belong in that class.

but i'm happy. :]
ask why and i might tell you.

so i've decided that my family does a good job jinxing me.
no details.
just leave it at that.

its sunny today.
:]

why are some guys so cute?
geeez.

i'm so done with exams for my hs career.
yeahh!

no more freakin' econ.
ever.

i'm donating blood next thursday.
i'm so nervous.
gahhhh.

i feel bad now.
but at least i didn't wait 24234 years to tell him.
wouldn't that be worse?

and if i didn't tell him sooner..
i'd probably be mean to him.
like seriously.

but then he'd probably take it as a joke.
hah.

but still.
i did the right thing though...
right?

i mean, everyone gets let down.
even if you're a good person.
mannn i don't know.
i just feel bad now.

alright i feel better now.
whew.
i'm glad there's people who understand.
its sunny.
i'm happy.
:]

um. i still don't know.
hahah.
i wonder how long this is gonna last.

but exams start tomorrow.
my last exams of HS.
ever.
well except the AP test.
and maybe a calc exam.
nahh schnepps too cool for that.
hah.

well study time!
pray that i freakin' pass econ.